But the trouble with holding on to hurts, instead of letting go, is that you continue to make decisions based on what hasn’t been for a long time, and you live in that long ago, affixing fault and blame.

Some people do things to punish their father or mother, or to show him or her a thing or two, and some people do things to revenge themselves on another whoever that other might be.  But, as long as their actions don’t come from positive feelings, but come instead of old angers, their defenses and self doubt will multiply – an so alas, will their inconsolable longings, their willfull delusions, their repeat performances, and their doomed quests.

And, they will spend their lives running hard, making decisions today and tomorrow that have to do with childhood furies and accidents of love, and never living in the present or becoming acquainted with what’s now.  Because when you don’t learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it and until you forgive,  you continue to impale yourself on your pain.

Source: p.92  “Hearts that we broke long ago”,  Merle Shain


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